The Blue Lincoln by Ed Ridgley

“Here, Detective, take this rose home to your wife,” said Baxter.

“I don’t make it a habit to accept anything from serial killers.”

“The only thing I kill–serially, as you put it–is bugs. This is from my prize roses.”

“No, thank you. Tell me again, where were you on Friday night?”

“What time exactly?”

“Between the hours of 8 and 10pm.”

“I was right here. All day, in fact.”

“Why did you ask what time then?”

“Sorry, I was focused on my flowers. Why are you asking?”

“Your friend, Daniel, is missing.”

“I wouldn’t call him a friend, really.”

“Why is that? Did you two have a falling out?”

“You could say that.”

“What about?”

“He grows roses as well, but you probably already know that.”

“Yeah.”

“And you probably already know that he stole a hybrid tea I was growing.”

“Tell me more.”

“It’s a special hybrid I grew, a cross of the Blue Moon and the Mr. Lincoln.”

“Blue Moon and Mr. Lincoln?”

“Yes, names of hybrid tea roses, Detective. You know, you and I are not all that different.”

“We are very different.”

“No, no, we’re the same. You and I are both experts at what we do. You are an expert investigator. So am I.”

“An expert investigator?”

“Yes. All roses are subject to predators like bugs or disease. Beetles are the serial killers of roses. So is mildew and other diseases. Anything can take out a rose.”

“Quite the philosopher, aren’t you?”

“Anyway, each prize rose is given a name. The Blue Moon is a lavender rose, and the Mr. Lincoln is a red rose, both very fragrant. I was going to call mine the Blue Lincoln. Your wife will love it.”

“I’ll buy one at a florist.”

“You could, but wouldn’t you rather get it straight from the inventor?”

“In my book, God is the inventor.”

“I guess you could call me a god. I would not take offense.”

“I know you had something to do with Daniel’s disappearance.”

“Daniel had a habit of disappearing without any help from anyone, including me.”

“I haven’t heard that.”

“Ask his wife.”

“He was divorced.”

“His ex-wife then. I didn’t know he got divorced. A man can die a thousand deaths from a divorce.”

“Spare me the philosophy lesson.”

“Know what the secret to a good marriage is?”

“You’re going to tell me the secret to a good marriage?”

“Bring her a rose every day. My wife never tired of it.”

“Your wife died under mysterious circumstances.”

“It’s not mysterious at all. I have poisons here for the bugs. She handled that part and got it in her system. I really should sue the manufacturer.”

“Why haven’t you?”

“I’m still in mourning.”

“Daniel and your wife were having an affair.”

“Apparently he had a secret with roses as well as women.”

“What was his secret?”

“He never told me. I tried to get it out of him.”

“What is your secret?”

“To women? I thought it was roses. To roses? Simple, really, and it’s crack for them. They crave it.”

“What is it?”

“Bone meal.”

​© 2026 Ed Ridgley

About the author:
Ed Ridgley (https://linktr.ee/edridgley) won a New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest in 2010, the cartoon showing a bar scene with a bartender, a detective, and a ballerina. His caption (the bartender’s words) said “The guy you’re looking for waltzed out of here an hour ago.” And he won the Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine’s Mysterious Photograph Contest, July/August 2023 edition. Ed hiked to Everest Base Camp in Nepal in 2018 and thus crossed off number one on his bucket list.