KILLING WITH YELLOWJACKETS (VESPULA PENSYLVANICA) by Vinnie Hansen

INTRODUCTION

The Western Yellowjacket is native to temperate climates. Its activity is restrained by cold temperatures. 

Western Yellowjackets are predatory social wasps. In the spring, the fertilized queen settles in a subterranean hole to build a nest. She lays eggs and feeds the larvae until a colony is established. Yellowjackets are fiercely protective of their nests and both bite and sting. They bite to jab in their stingers. Since they do not lose their stinger, they can attack repeatedly and are potentially deadly to a person stung numerous times or to a person with an anaphylactic reaction to their venom.

The purpose of this study is to test whether one can kill a person using Yellowjackets as the method.

METHOD

The Yellowjackets in this study established a colony in a gopher tunnel under Alstroemeria (Peruvian lilies) in Santa Cruz, California. The experiment was conducted on August 6, 2019, in mid-afternoon as a “bee” line of wasps flew in and out of the hole. 

The subject was a 70-year-old Caucasian male known to have a “bee-sting” allergy, one of his defenses for the aggressive use of pesticide, including glyphosate to kill weeds in his lawn. (He’d been informed numerous times of glyphosate’s harmful effect on butterflies and birds—even humans.)

In the afternoon when the Yellowjackets were active, the subject was summoned from the sidewalk to view the Peruvian lilies. He was well exposed, dressed in walking shorts and a polo shirt. 

The scientist conducting this experiment, Arla Fairfield, PhD entomology, Montana State University, was swathed in a thick shirt, gloves, and sunhat with neck flap.

When the subject stood within a foot of the hole, the scientist yanked up several Peruvian lilies, then moved quickly into a small protected area. The Yellowjackets immediately attacked.

RESULTS

The subject swatted at the wasps, increasing their agitation. He screamed and ran toward the sidewalk, Yellowjackets swarming. Half-way to his house on the corner, approximately fifty yards, he collapsed on the sidewalk. 

DISCUSSION

To replicate this experiment, one must be patient and meticulous. Dr. Fairfield possessed both qualities, having counted Aceria tosichella (wheat curl mites)—tiny even through a microscope—for hours at a stretch.

It helps if the human target is a particularly vulgar specimen. For example, before the experiment, the subject shuffled by on the sidewalk. When greeted with, “Good morning,” he responded, “Why don’t you pull your spent flowers? Your beds look so . . . done.” 

When it was explained that the flowers were being left to reseed, he said, “Humph.” 

He stood there eyeing the dried pods atop the Nigella damascene (love-in-a-mist). The flowers bloom pretty and blue, akin to bachelor buttons, but the rattling brown seed pods possess their own natural beauty, not a concept this idiot would understand.

“You still have that illegal alien helping you?” he asked.

“Carlos? Carlos is a descendent of Californios.” 

The subject gave a blank stare, unfamiliar, I guess, with basic California history. “I have a little gal helping me with my roses,” he said. 

His “little gal” is a full-grown woman. 

So, to summarize, the chosen human was obnoxious, racist, and sexist—a worthy subject. 

But the experiment. Unfortunately, the experiment had too many variables. Not enough controls.

When the subject collapsed, a female neighbor turned the corner and called 911. She also dropped to her knees and administered mouth to mouth, the Yellowjackets having seemingly retired after chasing their victim an acceptable distance from the nest. 

As the neighbor had spotted Dr. Fairfield, the only logical next step was to assist in the aid to the subject.

The ambulance arrived quickly and hauled him away. The neighbor dusted off her knees. “Poor guy,” she said.  

“I thought you hated him.”

She blinked heavily. “That doesn’t mean I wanted him to be attacked by bees.”

“Yellowjackets.”

She gaped, then finally asked, “Did you get stung?”

“I’m well covered when I work in the garden.” If this neighbor were particularly observant, she would know this information to be false.

She gazed in the direction of the fading ambulance siren. “Do you think he’ll die?” 

“It’s possible.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “He wasn’t all bad.”

“He complained on Nextdoor that you didn’t pick up your newspapers fast enough, attracting thieves to the neighborhood.”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t personal. He griped when people didn’t bring in their garbage cans on collection day, too.”

“If he isn’t all bad, what’s good about him?” 

“He grows beautiful roses.”

This gave me pause. His Double Delight were exquisite. Even if he made them march in uniform rows alongside his manicured lawn. How many times had I leaned over his picket fence to inhale their intoxicating fragrance?

“You know,” the neighbor said, “he once told me he was going to leave them to you.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It’s true. For all his cranky pants, he’d talk my ear off if he saw me walking by. He has a couple of kids, somewhere, but he told me they wouldn’t take care of his roses—that you were the only person he’d trust with them.”

“Me?”

“Oh, you know,” the neighbor twiddled thin fingers in the air, “he said it as a backhanded compliment—you’d tend them in your weird way and they’d be mottled, but at least you’d appreciate them.” 

At this point, the scientist took her leave, telling the neighbor that she did not feel well, a statement of fact.

In the end, the subject did die. 

However, in conclusion, this experiment was not a success. It delivered the desired result but failed to produce an adjunct sense of satisfaction. 

​© 2025 Vinnie Hansen

About the author:
Still sane(ish) after 27 years of teaching high school English, Vinnie Hansen has retired and plays keyboards with ukulele groups in Santa Cruz, California, where she lives with her husband and the requisite cat. 
She also writes fiction. A Claymore and a Silver Falchion finalist, Vinnie is the author of the Carol Sabala mystery series, the novels LOSTART STREET, ONE GUN, and the upcoming CRIME WRITER, as well as over seventy published short works.